Fantasy versus Fiction: Shown Side by side

I've finally found two good examples of the difference between a written fantasy, and fiction. For the sake of this particular entry, I'm going to put only a few paragraphs of each in this entry. After this, I'm going to share a full fantasy scene, or a full fiction scene.

First, the fantasy:

            “Do you enjoy my lips?” Izzy asked teasingly, biting Catherine’s neck, kissing down over her collarbone. Izzy’s hands cupped her slave girl’s large breasts, squeezing them, enjoying their feeling. Soft moans increased in volume as Izzy’s skilled tongue and teeth brought her nipples to full attention. The blond gasped as she watched Izzy’s tongue stud harden its mate.

            Izzy bit her lower lip as she slid her hands down over each of Catherine’s hips, her head slowly making its way between the smooth thighs. She alternated kissing each one as they spread, her nose catching the full bouquet of her slave girl’s excitement.

            “Are you always this easy to please?” Izzy asked nonchalantly, her index and ring finger spreading Catherine’s outer lips as her middle finger teased her clitoral hood.

            She gasped, grinning. “Only when someone knows the deepest truths of my body.”

            “Ah, so it only happens with someone like me.”

            “Oh yes, Mistress.”

            Moving her fingers down slightly, Izzy began stimulating her clit directly. Catherine moaned loudly, pleasure overwhelming from her sensitive pearl. As her juices began to flow more freely, Izzy’s fingers made their way slowly into the other young woman’s tight pussy. She could no longer go without tasting the juices, and began flicking her tongue over her clit, her sparkling brown eyes locked on the pleasure of Catherine’s face.

            “Mmm… Mistress… your tongue…” The words were barely intelligible between the sounds of pleasure, which aroused both of them further.

            The fingers within her passage curved upwards as Izzy switched from licking to sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves. The tell-tale orgasmic muscle spasms passed through Catherine’s body as she came, the juices now dripping from her entrance and her Mistress’ fingers. Izzy truly experiences the full essence of her sweet climax as she rubbed the clit in small circles, and moved her tongue deep into her entrance, the tip of it teasing her G-spot.

            Moans run out as orgasms rolled through Catherine’s body, her hands digging into her Mistress’ hair, pulling it rhythmically. Lips glistening, Izzy slowly came up, aroused by Catherine’s need to kiss and share her flavor. Although she had removed her moth, her fingers continued their stimulation of her clit, rubbing it roughly. Their bodies pressed against each other as Catherine’s hands slid between her Mistress’ thighs, and two fingers made their way into the soaked passage.

            Izzy moaned loudly, the feeling of her G-spot being stroked further wetting her things. Their speeds synced as they pushed their bodies together, each wanting to bring the other more pleasure. Catherine’s emboldened hands reached to grab and smack her Mistress’ large ass, the soft curves so different from the hard fucking they enjoyed. Their mouths worked together, kissing each other deeply, their tongues dancing. Izzy couldn’t find words to describe the pleasure that she was feeling, and opted to allow her incredible orgasm to speak for her. As her movements became more erratic, Izzy nuzzled Catherine’s neck, her muscles straining. The intense pleasure Izzy was getting caused Catherine to climax again, their bodies intertwined pleasure.

In this case, I actually gave the character's names; they're stock names, but names nonetheless. This story is not part of a longer anything. Granted, there's some before and some after, but it stands alone. Could I make it part of a longer something? Sure. I have enough of these shorty shorts to do just that.

Now, on to the fiction. This is an excerpt from Defying Destiny, a full length short story:

             I held his lower lip between my teeth as I stroked his growing member. He moaned loudly when I squeezed his shaft. Daniel’s hands made their way into my yoga pants, stroking my clit between his index and middle finger. I moaned loudly, the feeling of hand almost as intense as pleasure on the other realm. Pulling his pants off, I saw that he was fully hard. Turning over onto all four, I looked back at him, biting my lip, smirking.

            He grinned as he pulled my pants down, smacking my bare ass gently. His hands were entirely different from Damien’s hands; Daniel explored me with a curiosity and wonder of someone that had never touched me before, and took it as an adventure.

            “Beautiful.” He murmured, stroking my clit as he slowly slid himself in. It felt amazing and painful at the same time. My hymen was very tough.

            “You’re a virgin!” He moaned loudly, his voice full of surprise.

            “Not for much longer. Please fuck me, Daniel.” The words were soft, softer than I had ever spoken to a person, and the plea in their cadence was genuine. I clasped his bottom lip between my teeth. With a deep thrust, he pushed his way though the membrane, a loud yelp coming from me.

            I chose doggy for it’s carnality and yet, he was loving to me. He moved slowly inside me, his hands sliding up my ribcage to squeeze my small breasts. Moving with him, I moaned his name, my hands gripping the headboard.

            “Lucia,” he gasped into my ear, “I need you, Lucia.”

            Once again, his fingers deftly went to my clit, causing an orgasm to shake through me. It was the first time someone other than Damien had caused me to cum. I knew that Lucifer knew of the act, and a huge tremor was felt throughout the block. The miniature earthquake did nothing to distract Daniel from his pleasure. As my orgasm doubled, I felt him release his seed inside me.

            Pressing his body into mine, I screamed, a burning sensation coursing through shoulder. Falling onto my back, I saw a piece of my flesh bubbling on a gold cross around his neck. A token of his faith that was so small, I hadn’t noticed it. Unfortunately he did, and was snapped to reality of what we had done.

            “What are you?” He asked me, smelling my sulfuric flesh.

            I couldn’t answer before he looked at my bare pubic bone, and saw my triple-6 birthmark.

This scene is definitely part of something longer. The narrator has a secret, there's a bit more going on in her thoughts, and near the end, it doesn't just stop once the orgasms are over, it goes back to the plot of the story. It is only a link, with plot before and after, and more interesting twists and turns. Having this scene on here is supposed to make the reader want to know what's going to happen. This scene does not stand alone, and I would probably get plenty of complaints if this is where it all ended.

I hope that this clears up some of the questions about my writing, and sexy writing. I'm thinking of putting a full super short scene on here, maybe in the next entry or so.

What the Fuck Do I Write?! Or One Author's Exploration into Publishing

I don't even know how to begin this post... I don't quite know where it is going... I guess I should just start from the beginning.

I have my Writer's Market. I'm reading it, and I'm actually beginning to look through magazines and such for publishers and agents that want writing similar to what I do.

I didn't realize just how hard it is to categorize my writing. I don't want to sound like a neophyte, but I'm so confused! They use words I don't know, and fancy terms, and so very few seem to want anything to do with writing that is like mine. Most of the places specifically say no erotica. I understand if you publish, let's say, Christian writing, you wouldn't want stuff like mine. Totally understandable. But there are places, that say things like "we want great fiction, no matter the genre" and then two sentences later put something like "no erotica or werewolves because it's overdone". Really, really?

The more I look through the stuff that is selling, the more I wonder exactly what I would consider my writing. Yes, most of the time it has graphic depictions of sex, but there's also a bunch of other good stuff going on in the pages. There is a plot, and great story telling, and dialogue that the reader will laugh at. The one thing I do have in mind when writing, is how a reader will enjoy it. It's gotten to the point where there are some markets that ask for some niche things, and I'm going to do custom pieces just for them. You want Black lesbian literature? You got it dude!

I don't know if I'm going to continue to read through it right now (I think I need some coffee just to begin to comprehend just how small of a viewership this makes me feel I'll have). I think I have to regroup, and come back to it. I'm just so.... I don't know... confused? Anxious? Unnerved? I think all of the above, in a blender, on high.

Will I have to modify my writing, and make it more marketable? Or should I stick to my guns and continue to wallow. This just further cements that I will need a full time job, this writing is not going to pay my bills any time soon.

Religion in my Writing

I love writing about all different subjects, especially taboo ones. I love writing activities that, if done in reality, would result in lengthy jail sentences. I write things that fringe groups would devour in heartbeats, that aren't acceptable on many  writing websites.

Out of all the taboos that I write, I realize one that I actually tend to stay far away from.

Religion.

Now, this isn't a post about my personal belief system, or how I don't blaspheme against one divine being while leaving all others fair game. No, this is about the one thing I tend to avoid all together.

I remember when I read 120 Days of Sodom, the pure shock of the blasphemous things uttered by the characters. I had never read blasphemy like that before (except those few blasphemous dudes the Bible mentions), and I was actually a bit uncomfortable. It was as if I felt a higher being reading over my shoulder and I would say inside my brain "You know I don't agree with this" to err on the side of caution.

Religion has only come up really and truly in one of my stories, Defying Destiny. It has a quasi-Christian-ish feel to some parts, and the basic Hell I describe is very Dante inspired. For all I know, the Lucifer in my story could have redecorated to look like the book.

I have another story, that has characters from the Middle East, and I'm toying with the idea of having some of the female characters veiled; not because of religion, but because they're Owned, and their Owner does not want any eyes but his own on them. I'd hate for someone to read that and think I'm making a (no pun intended) veiled nod to Muslim people, because I'm not. If my characters were Muslim, I'd say that outright

Most of my work is freaky and weird, but there is at least one button I don't want to push for people. I'm a firm believer in believe whatever you'd like. Who am I to judge your belief system, or lack of one? Maybe one day I will write something deeper on religion, but I don't see that day happening any time soon.

Minski the Cannibal: Good Story, Bad Copy Choice

Sometimes when I have a few digital rubles, I make spur-of-the-moment purchases. Buying Minski the Cannibal definitely falls into that category.

I'll start by saying I'm a fan of de Sade's work. I read 120 Days of Sodom two years ago, and it was hilarious. Granted, there are some things you have to get used to when reading things written by him.

I should start by giving a basic warning:

• de Sade enjoys writing torture and murder. There is no care for humanity, or individuals, especially not family members.
• There is usually some form of pedophilia, the victims (many times females) are for the most part young beautiful girls, and he often rapes children.
• There are very few fully-fledged female characters. He seems to have a love/hate relationship with the fairer sex, and he has a hate/hate relationship with the vulva. I could write essays about how hard he is, but I shan't for the sake of brevity.
• He loves the buttsex. Male, female, it doesn't matter, it has to be up the poop shoot. He does seem to like boobs, though.
• He can be a super blasphemer. Like... he's beyond an atheist, and says things that I would never in my brain, let alone create.

If you can't stand those five things in literature, don't read his stuff. There is also plenty of corprophilia, and sometimes cannibalism and incest. I honestly don't feel like it makes me want to throw up, but I can guarantee your draw will drop. I kept gasping and giggling as I read it, so much so that I was a distraction in class.

Now, if you'd still like to give it a shot (which I hope you do), I'll get on to what de Sade is more than anything: a philosopher. Just like his longer work, Minski the Cannibal is chocked full of his ideologies, ideas and philosophies. He declares himself a libertine, and gives in to it in the most extreme of ways. I have to admit, there are quite a few places in the philosophy where I found myself agreeing, although I generally found him batshit. If everyone was like him, there would be no next generation of humans.

This book is actually a sceney from Juliette, a work considered his masterpiece. In this particular part, the titular character, and some of her homies encounter this Russian giant that enjoys seeing them being super pervs. His name is Minkski and he lives in a desolate castle where he keeps harems of people at hand to sate his depraved ways. His favorite ethnicity of people is Africans (which I'm not sure I like...), and he lives by his natures. Whatever sick fucked up crime he can commit, he does. He's wanted all over Europe, and the only reason he hasn't added more to his sizable resume, is because he hasn't had a chance. He's a standard libertine de Sade character. Once inviting the young people to partake, they live in his castle and do naughty things. I shan't give away exactly what happens, but that's the gist of it.

It's not that long, and but it packs a nice little bit for people who just want to start in on de Sade.

Now, on to the cons.

As far as the literature, it's good. It gives a good impression of his style. The fault lies with Kindle, and the douchewaffle that put this to print. I shelled out $2.99 for this, thinking it was that much reading material (at least 100 KBs of writing). It's not. Just when I hit the middle of the "book", the scene is over, and it starts in on some authors fucking essay about de Sade. I was so heated. All those pages... I thought I was going to have more of him for my buck. I could have bought Justine for one third of the price. I felt so duped. If I wanted to read some essays on de Sade, I would have went on Google Scholars and downloaded some. I didn't want to pay for someone else's writing on him, I wanted him. I was so super livid, that I went to search for the full version of the book Juliette to see if I could buy it...  that shit was nearly ten buck for a digital copy! As much as I like reading him, I had to say fuck outta here.

If you want to read de Sade, and see what all the hooplah is about, I suggest going to your local library and picking up a hard copy. Yeah, schlep your ass outside and get up off the wireless. You can see what kind of copy it is, and turn pages. If there's one thing de Sade does, it's turn pages. Don't waste your money on that digital copy. Only buy it if you read it and love it.

The Difference Between Fiction and Fantasy

Sometimes, when you share with people your writing, especially writing of the scintillating variety, their first question/comment is: "This is what turns you on?"

When I hear this question, it makes me feel all sorts of ways. The first thing it does is confuse me. It almost makes me feel as if I should have some sort of control over what comes out of my pen. I have as much control over what I'm drawn to write, as I have control over the thickness of my glasses. Especially when it comes to graphic writing. I'm seriously contemplating writing a post about the difference between erotica and sexual writing, because many people consider them to one and the same.

The second thing I feel in annoyance. I always specifically say that my writing is fiction. With some stories/ideas, like Big Brother, I'm technically not driven to arousal by the graphic parts. In that, I'm using the sex scenes as specific tools to get across an idea. I know many people will find the scenes/story stroke worthy, but it's not my cup of tea. It's not something I would participate in. Hell, I root for the sake of justice in those stories.

Now, I'm not saying that I find none of my writing sexy, because that would be a lie, but I am saying that I don't often write my fantasies into stories. For people that have read a lot of my work (all four of them), they can tell the difference between fantasy and true fiction. When I'm fantasizing about stuff, I usually have nameless characters (a Master and a slave), blurry descriptions with only the most basic physical traits given (dark hair and eyes, full breasts, long manhood). It's not about the characters, it's not about their stories, it's not about their love, concerns and fears. It's about seeing them fuck. It's the literary equivalent of making your dolls have doll sex. Many of these never leave my computer/journals, because they're not actual stories, they're PWP-- Porn Without Plot. To be honest, it's very difficult for me to write a story around a fantasy, because I don't think of the characters outside of their sexual terms. I don't care if the Master is a lawyer who is under a lot of stress, or if his Fortune 500 company is being indited on a scheme. I don't care if the slave was the neighbor-girl he held captive until she broke, or if she's a runaway that followed him home and won over his heart with her charm and grace. It doesn't matter. I think I'm going to post a short PWP scene, and then post a graphic scene that comes from a story.

Yes, I will scour my writing, and find something from both categories and post it... I'll probably do it some time in the upcoming week.

Becoming an "Official" Writer

Someone bought some of my writing.

To some people, this might not seem as pivotal as it seems to me. It's not the most epic thing that can happen. I haven't published some novel that's going to make me a gagillion dollars. People that aren't artists don't understand the sheer significance of the act.

For the first time in my writing career (a career that many people have mistakenly called a "passion") I've actually had someone give me money for the pleasure of my words. Not getting an A on a paper, or doing anything that shall rename unmentioned. This was my fiction, the things that I created, my characters and plot lines. They saw that much pleasure that they gave me money. They saw that much in my skills...

It's overwhelming...

So many times I'm unsure that I will have an audience for the things that I write. Every time and I sit and begin to write, or type, the doubt creeps through me. And each block becomes a question that breaks down my concentration.

But I sent work, stuff that I'd only edited once or twice, and it was enjoyed. It makes me want to get more things out there. I'm reading about a website called Smashwords, and I'm going to try and see if I can self publish some shorter things.

I forgot the other upswing part of my news. I bought a digital copy of The Writers Market! For the first time in my writing, I'm actually going to learn more about the business side of writing and making money off it. This is huge, I can see what kind of companies and agents are looking for my type of stuff. The beginning of the book is really helpful, because it begins to teach you how to pimp yourself. It also has a lot of different types of publishers that look for work. I can see how many places take writing like mine. Granted, I have to come into the agency with some writing that isn't as ridiculously graphic and disgusting as some of my writing. I can also find someone to buys my PG/Young Adult stuff, and even the romantic things I let out every once in a while. I can also see what's selling like hotcakes and try to write more of that.

Sheesh, now that this has happened, I can even put "Writer" on my resume! I have to research writing portfolios, and how to keep track of submissions. I actually feel like I'm working on my writing. I feel like a kid! Well, when more information comes up, I'll write it.

Forgot to mention. I took a break from Conrad, he was getting a bit long winded, and I need things that are going to keep my rapt attention. I read that reading writing that isn't your style is good... unfortunately I read that after I read "Minski the Cannibal". Yes, it's de Sade, yes it's hilariously graphic. Was it worth the money...? I'll have to write a review of it, and that price tag -_-

Alright TTFN

Writing with an Outline

Only recently have I really begun to write outlines for my stories, and I have to say, I really like how my writing has turned out.

The story that I'm currently working on, Front of the Whorehouse, is actually the first story that I have ever had entirely planned out. It's a good thing that I have, because if not, I wouldn't have gotten as far into it as I have.

As awesome as outlining is for fiction (I know the path I'm going, I have a good track of how far I've made it), it can also be rather daunting.

I usually set myself up for big things: I don't want to just write a little sumthin' sumthin', unless that was my original idea. Although I wouldn't consider it a novel, it's a very long story, and I'm really concerned while writing it. I know that where I am right now, is barely twenty-five percent to where the full destination is. I'm not making progress the way I should. Right now, my craft is a passion, not a career, because I haven't learned to write even when I'm "not feeling it". Until I can do that, I don't think I will be a successful writer.

I'm considering putting a limit on my stories, and trying to hit certain marks. I'm going to attempt to write one bullet point a day. That means, that by this time next month, I would have it complete. I should probably get back to writing right now, rather than this.

PS. I am reading The Nigger of the "Narcissus", and as soon as I finish it, I will write a review of it. I'm hoping that Conrad's epic paragraphs and style will help me with my own need for epic paragraphs and descriptions.

Kindle Direct Publishing and Graphic Porn

This has left me pissed off.

And rather depressed...

So, I had something of an epiphany when I was writing and working on a short scene. Suddenly, I realized that I wanted to put a lot of little sceneys of mine together in a collection I call "Taboo". It was supposed to contain stories from all the parts of human sexuality that aren't discussed in polite society.

And by this, I barely mean BDSM. I meant incest, underage, rape and zoophilia. I happen to have at least one story that falls into each of the categories (although the underage was written when I was underage). I thought it would be a clever, although controversial collection. Although I didn't expect any one individual to find each story arousing (I only find a fraction sexy), but I thought there was a little something for everyone.

So, whilst on my computer, I go to Amazon.com and I download the Kindle Publishing handbook... I'm so happy I found now, before I put in the extra time writing other little shorts for this collection.

I'm reading through it, looking at the policies that are in place, how to go about it. Amongst the final pages, I find the list of prohibited content. The first fucking thing is "graphic or hardcore pornography". Immediately, I thought a blood vessel in my head popped.

All of my erotic writing is graphic and hardcore. In my mind, that's what makes good erotica, the ability to see, touch, taste and smell what's going on. I want the reader to feel that everything they're reading is happening right in front of them.

Thinking that there might be some other things not allowed by KDP, I went to their forum (I already have an account), and I found that not only are graphic depictions prohibited, so are rape, scat, underage, and anything else that one might find in 120 Days of Sodom.

Most of my stories and outlines for stories contain themes like that. Hell, it's usually a major conflict. What can I say, my first favorite author was VC Andrews.

Even my stories, the longer pieces that I'm working on, cannot be published under KDP. I really feel some sort of way, my head and heart are aching right now. I don't know what's keeping the tears at bay.

Now I'm just wondering what it is I'm going to have to do... I think I will wait, finish a major story, and then see about finding an agent. That will probably be the only way to get out my work, since it's too graphic and "wrong" for me to publish independently.

I have to find a way to get my mind back on track with my work...

Heart of Darkness

I've had this book on my Kindle for one year, without actually reading it.

I know, shame on me, because this book is amazing.

It's by Joseph Conrad. I did a quick search about him (the only reason I knew he was important was because there was a Jeopardy question about him and the book), and I've found that he is considered one of the greatest authors in English (although he himself was Polish). When I typed his name in to the search engine, Google immediately associated him with Heart of Darkness which means one of two things: either it is indeed his most famous book, or many a student has tried to skip over reading it and find Crib notes.

Now, on to the story.

Marlow, the narrator, is telling the story whilst aboard a vessel. The entire story (save some brief interruptions and comments by the listeners) is told by him. It's a very interesting way to tell this story, especially considering how the novel progresses.

It takes place as the story teller is making his way into "the darkest heart" of Africa on an expedition. There is a particular man in the heart of the forest, who brings in more ivory than all the other individual camp leaders combined. This man, Kurtz, becomes one of the sad focuses of the story.

I'm not going to give away what happens, but I will say that the title of the book is very important for a number of different reason. Actually, out of all the books that I've read, this one by far makes the most references back to the title. When I first read the title, and the synopsis when I downloaded it, I assumed that the story was so named because the character was voyaging into the darkest heart of the Dark Continent. But as Conrad weaved the tale, especially during the climax of the story, you know that the continent isn't nearly as dark as the hearts of those "exploring" it.

I will say that Conrad uses the word "nigger" a couple of times, but it honestly wasn't much that I would take offense to. I did give the side eye a few times when reading some of his descriptions of the few black people that were described. It seemed as if they were just there for their physical, and that there wasn't much going on in the Black people's noodles. Now, he is in no way HP Lovecraft status.

As for reading the book... I'd suggest having a dictionary (specifically one that you know will have archaic/poetic terms) nearby, or having a proper digital download of it. It uses language that can be tricky if you're not familiar with older English writing. Conrad also uses very, very long sentences, so I had to read some of them more than once, just to get the flow and cadence right. This is definitely a book that I will have to read again. I won't say that I have to study it the way I want to study Venus in Furs, but in order to get everything out of it that I can, I will have to revisit it a few times. It is the kind of book that at times, you start to read aloud, to test the power of the words in your own mouth. I will admit, I tried to read the first page of the story a few times, and I thought it was going to be boring, but I implore any reader, read the first five pages of a book before deciding whether or not it is something that you want to read. Sometimes the first page is a little slow because the setting is being established, as are the players.

Since reading this, I'm definitely going to look into more of Joseph Conrad's work, especially one story I've found called The Nigger of the 'Narcissus'. The synopsis looks really nice, and I know that Conrad really has a way with words.

I can't say that from reading this book, I've gotten some direct inspiration going down my fingers for me to begin to write so magnificently. I think it's far more subtle than that. I'm not even going to try and begin to write in such a manner, and I know that it's going to take me years to even begin to get as deep as Conrad did.

Writing What You're Possessed To

Because my New Year's resolution involves me writing every day, I've decided to let my fingers write whatever they want to.

Sometimes I'm able to work more on an individual story, other times, I write a sceney or two and then I'm done. Yesterday, I spent a fair amount of time writing an opinion article. As I wrote it, I wasn't sure who I was writing it for. I know I was writing it because the idea was coming out, but I have no idea if it has any sort of market.

I've heard mixed reviews about writing, and what one should write. Most of the literary people that I've spoken to say that you need to write what comes naturally, and worry about a market later on. Some money making people that I have spoken to tell me to write what sells.

I'm conflicted between the two. I know that many different genres sell, but I don't know if I'm trying to get into an over-saturated market. I would hate for my work to get lost amongst the piles of other stories by the millions of people trying to get their work out there.

The best thing for me to do is continue to read and write, and not focus so much on these other things.

Writing Resolutions

A New Year means Resolutions Abound...

It's not even two days into the new year, and I'd like to say that I've already started keeping up with my resolution. I've been writing, and yesterday I finished reading a new story. Venus in Furs was amazing, and it also helped loosen the binds that are so often on my fingers.

Besides just writing this year, I want to work on actually making it a living. As far as talent, I'd like to think I have that, but discipline... as I've written before, I really need to work on that. Therefore, I'm going to seclude myself as much as possible.

I'm already an introvert, but I'm going to do it the proper way: alone in my room, music without words, and limited internet dicking around. It will also mean writing more here. I think that I might also try Tumblr, but that's a very big might. I honestly don't understand many of these social websites, and I'm not sure I want everyone able to say that they wrote my words.

In conjunction with working on my writing writing, I'm going to become a better diarist. I've really been twiddling my thumbs when it comes to what's going on in my life, and I think that if I journal, it'll help me with all my other words. I'm trying to see if I can get a job writing as well, since it seems to be my greatest talent.

Now, I should probably get back to this article that I'm writing, and finish it before it reaches 3 AM.