Loss and its Effect On Writing

If there's anything that I've learned from experiencing death, it's that it definitely affects ones creativity. I know that when my mother died, it did something to my writing.

I didn't do any real reading, besides National Geographic and Smithsonian articles, and I really didn't do any creative writing. The one thing I did write extensively, was my diary.

In it, I was able to chronicle everything that was happening with my mom, with my family. It's not something I look back on. I avoid reading that particular diary because those emotions make me feel as if my heart is exploding. I've only written about it once, for a school project on the grieving process. My teacher told me she didn't read it, but she kept it as proof that I wrote it. I guess it forces someone to face the mortality of their own parents.

Anyway, back to it, and my writing.

Because of what I went through, I'm now able to effectively write about loss. It's not something I'm proud of, nor is it something that I've actually used much in my writing.

Not long after my mother died, I tried to write a piece about a girl whose identical twin was dying, in the same manner that my mother did. It was a story, beside the fact that the characters were identical twins, many people could relate to. It never panned out to be more than a re-telling of my mother.

I actually did use it, use my diary to write the death of a character in my teenage diary tale. I need now only to get the entries into order, and make sure it's a cohesive story, beyond the teenage shenanigans.

Another thing I noticed after my mother's death, was how I had written death before that time. I must admit, it was rather convincing. I had all of the "right" things, and it struck the same chords inside me, but it didn't have the same poignancy. It was merely me regurgitating whatever I had read before about loss.

Now... it's a reality that I've experienced oh too personally. It's made me rethink things that are important to my characters. I now make them face their own mortality more, and the mortality of their loved ones. I make them think of a world without that specific object of their affection. I force them to confront what I've confronted. I think it makes for multidimensional characters, which is always a good thing.

I wonder if anyone out there has really put their loss to work for them. I'd love to know...