I don't think I've ever seen a list like this online before, so I might as well be the person that starts it. I've read... I don't know how many books in my life. Some of them are nothing more than shards by now, while others stick out in almost their entirety. Some of the books that stick out the most for me, are books that I just can't get in to. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with these books--they just don't do it for me. There are multiple reasons why a book can be on this list, but for each one, I will give the reason. They're not listed in any particular order, just as they come to me.
1. Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Now... I've had this book on my Kindle since I first got my Kindle--it was one of my first downloads. It has a trifecta of things I love reading: slavery, drama, and a female writer. What more could I ask for? I could ask for a book in which the mullatto and quadroon characters aren't seen as something super amazing special magnificent. Just the Stowe describes Eliza and her son is enough for me to feel true disgust. Their exotic beauty, large ringlet curls, or the slight hint of cinnamon on the cheeks... it makes me want to puke. I just quickly scanned Wikipedia, wanting to do a bit of research so I don't misname characters, and I read a spoiler that makes me want to read the book... if only I could get past the descriptions. This is a blog about writing, not about my personal opinion of pop culture, but the idolatry (especially in the Black community) of people that are "light, bright, and damned near white" disturbs me; I'm not even going to go in to the bleaching and plastic surgery to change for a more European (or creepy as it usually turns out) features. I've gotten as far in to the book as the basic description of Uncle Tom (who isn't a sellout character, as his name has become synonymous with), but I couldn't go any further. I don't like the idea of the characters ethnicities being a primary factor to their noodle use, even if there is some awesome feminist themes, and martyrdom themes. I can't get past that initial part. If ever I do read it, and make it all the way through, I will definitely put up a post about it. But as of right now, I don't see that happening.
2. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Considering how many of the short stories I write tread (frantically thrash and splash) the same waters as Nabokov, I thought this book was going to be epic. I actually quite a bit, far more than Uncle Tom's Cabin. But I have a few big issues that cause altogether too much tooth sucking, sighs and rolled eyes. The first is the protagonist Humbert Humbert. He's described as a hot dude, and he likes nymphets (pubescent females that are still more girl than woman. I have an entire post idea about them planned). He falls for Lolita, and marries her mother. I should probably have more disgust at the fact that he likes young girls, but my biggest issue with him is that he is a stupid punk. He has everything necessary to make Lolita his from Jump Street, but he doesn't utilize it. He instead prefers being a creeper and pining after her from afar, and licking her eyeball, and masturbating to her. Another thing that annoys me, that I found out halfway in to reading the story, was that Nabokov was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's poem "Annabel Lee". That is one of my FAVORITE poems by Poe, and I was offended that he assumed the narrator of the poem would end up a pathetic schmuk like this bastard. The poem clearly states that the protagonist is so grief stricken that he sleeps each night in her tomb. Poe doesn't mention anything about the dude ending up a perv for younger girls. Both of those facts compounded just turned me off from the book, even though it is enjoyably written and most people would think it would be a favorite book.
3. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
I feel so terrible, after just reading the synopsis of this book, for putting it up here. But it is here nonetheless. I was supposed to read this book in English class in high school. Apparently it's an amazing book, and a classic of African literature in English. I just saw it as the most boringest thing on the face of Earth. This book literally put me to sleep, and I'm not being dramatic. Every time I would try to read this book, I would start yawning and get tired and start dozing. I'd never done it before, nor has it happened since. I think it was the writing style that did it for me, but I can't quite remember at this point in my life. I wish to everything I could, so that I would have a better review. Because I've just read such a good synopsis, if I get my hands on the book, I would most certainly read it, or try to read it. Maybe I just need to push myself through it, and not give in to the sleepiness. I know my teacher would be disappointed if he read this-- sorry, Michelson!
4. Behold a Pale Horse by Milton William Cooper
This is a book that came highly recommended by a friend of mine. She had just started reading it, and suggested that I read it as well, that it was a book that you had to be on the up about. It's a book about how the government is ready to start the New World Order any day now, and how people don't know what's going on around them, and that people don't know anything about the world around them, and the symbolism everywhere. If you're a person that enjoys reading about secret societies, the Illuminati, the Masons, and think that the government is out to get us, this book is right up your alley. I'm not into that stuff. Oh, there's also some alien stuff mentioned in there. I'm not into aliens either, unless it's like fantasy/science fiction. This book is mostly a bunch of government documents that Cooper does a fabulous job explaining to the common man, and him bringing up connections that conspiracy theorists would love. I made it maybe 25% through the book. It's literally just too much to chew, and he spend a lot of time going over the same facts multiple times, which gets really boring after a while. I'm not the person to want to read all of that. Granted, I need to learn more about politics and things of that nature, but I don't want to learn it with him. I'm the last person to care about Illuminati or things like that, so it was probably foolish of me to start it.
These are all the books I can think of off the top of my head. I'm not sure if there are more, but if there are, I will definitely write a part two
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