New Reviews to Come

It's not that I haven't been reading, I've actually been spending my time on "Behold a Pale Horse" until recently. But within the next few days I should have two and a half new reviews ready. I'm not going to give anything away, I'm just going to say that both reviews will be awesome, and one of the new ones if from an author that I've reviewed once before.

Figured I'd post something. There may also be a rant and some erotica on the way, depending on the way that I feel.

Equestria Girls: Better Than Expected, but Still Crap (To Me)

I have now seen the Equestria Girls movie, thanks to a "copy" on YouTube.

And I have to say, I still didn't really like it. Now, it wasn't horrific, but it still was a failure, and I could feel how much Hasbro rushed to get it out, believing that MLP:FiM is merely a fad.

Now, there are some things that I didn't like about the movie; first, this random character, Princess Celestia's former student Sunset Shimmer, comes out of nowhere, and steals Twilight Sparkle's crown, which keeps Twilight's Element of Harmony. Now, if her student was anything like Twilight Sparkle, everyone in all of Equestria would know about said student, and she would have had some sort of mentioning before.  Now, Twilight has to go alone to this alternate universe (one of few, as it's implied by Sunset Shimmer), as to not throw off the balance. We never hear what happens to the real Twilight Sparkle; Pinkie Pie implies that there's another Twilight, living in the city, however, she doesn't seem to go to school with the other students.

Another HUGE problem that I had with the movie was that they made all the characters pastel. Like seriously, each character was as pale as all hell, and Rarity just looked sick, being as white as paper. They even made Princess Luna, in all her midnight blue glory, sky blue. It was just not cool.

Besides the fact that they made them pale (and they made Celestia seem like a bitch), they put all of the students in the same school, although they clearly refer to the school as "high". Besides the fact that the school is at least middle school and up, it seemed really moronic that Twilight didn't recognize the building as a school, or read more books about the general rules of their world and anatomy, to the internet. To me, it took too long for her to realize what was going on, which is another bad point of the screenplay. I know they had to make the movie a certain length, or whatever, but this just reinforced the happy high school, everyone-will-become-friends again stereotype that disappoints so many.

Then there's Sunset Shimmer. She just doesn't have any depth, and that sucks very, very hard. I like a villain that has a real reason, not just revenge against Celestia. Another thing about her, I don't understand why everyone is afraid of this fucking idiot, there's nothing that she has or does (besides moronic intimidation and stupid little ways of breaking up friendships) really makes me want to fear her. Was everyone in this school lily-livered.

Also... the school is Canterlot High, but almost all of the characters are from Ponyville. Now, if it was a college, it would make sense that students from a small town are in the capital of Equestria. But no, it's high school, and they have all the students being... typical.

There were so many moronic plot devices, something that they should have already thought of. It would have just been a much better movie if they expanded on the world of Equestria. Apparently, Lauren Faust said that the ruined castle in the Everfree Forest was the childhood home of Celestia and Luna. Now that back story would have been an awesome movie, or maybe having further exploration into Equestria, or the rest of the Equine-sentient world.

I know there are people that really liked the movie, but I still think that it's stupid, and was a waste of a brilliant opportunity.

Draula: Not What I Expected

I finally decided to read Dracula, although I had downloaded it on to my Kindle more than a year ago. I'm not sure what I was expecting, maybe something like the movies I had seen, or possibly a crazy look into the vampire that seems to be the basis for all other vampiric works in modern history.

The first thing that was different than I expected, is that the book is written entirely in diary entries of the main characters, and other written works. For the first part, the diary of Jonathan Harker, it's a lovely diary, but I do have to admit, when I was at the halfway point of the book, many of the other characters annoyed the hell out of me.

As a cynical, hard New Yorker, I found it hard to believe that many of the characters could be that sweet, or wordy. I wanted to slap the female protagonists when they spoke at how "undeserving" women are of the love of men, or how they were incredibly "obedient" to their menfolk. As I continued to read, and did a bit of research into British people, I realized that the character's were intentionally written as sweet, and that British people really are that wordy and formal, And then I realized that the characters were being genuine, and all the niceness was intentional.

It seemed like religion, specifically Christianity, plays a huge part in this book. Faith is the driving point for most of the characters when they're at their lowest. I wonder how this book would have been were it written by a person of another faith, or an atheist.

I think the biggest misconception that people have when coming across this book is that they expect vampires to be handsome. Dracula is not traditionally handsome, in fact, he's only described as cruel and sensual, with, isn't necessarily a compliment considering how Stoker feels about sensuality. Vampires, vampire women, are seen as incredibly sensual, oozing it to the point where one of the main characters knew it was no longer the love of his life, just a hot demon in her place. Also, vampires aren't sexier after drinking. Jonathan Harker describes Dracula:

"Even the deep burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion."

That certainly stands in stark contrast to hotties like Lestat and Louis in Anne Rice novels, and as the antithesis of Stephanie Meyer's sparkling marble people. I don't know how many people understand, there isn't supposed to be anything sexy and beautiful about vampires, according to this book. They're disgusting, unholy creatures from the deepest pits of Hell. For your loved one to become a vampire is a curse of the highest order; they may never dwell with God, and will forever walk in darkness.

Another thing, people seem to think that Dracula is seen as the original vampire of all vampires. The book does not support that claim. They call him "the king of vampires", but I think that's more because of his royal standing, and his position in Europe. Dr. Van Helsing (whose an old man, not Hugh Jackman) mentions that there are types of vampires in the lore of all people, not just in Europe, although this book is Eurocentric. Dracula is not given credit as the originator of all vampires, something that people give him too much credit for.

Every cinematic interpretation of the book has taken liberties with it, making Dracula into something more desirable, and building upon him a legend more fantastic than the count gives himself. It is interesting that Dracula's three females speak of him not having loved, but there is a sadness in the Count when he speaks of love, something one of the movie versions, the one with Keanu Reeves is in, where Mina is seen as a reincarnation of his beloved one. That's totally not true, the Count only wished to take from him everything that they had.

All in all, this book is a bit of a hard read. If you're anything like me, you'll want to quit when you're halfway through, when things are just building, but I assure you, if you trek to the end, it's worth it. It's a good book, but I don't think I'll read it again any time soon.

Also, I have a book list that I'm working on. Not something particularly long, but some things that have been recommended to me that I'm going to work through this month. Up next, is "Behold a Pale Horse", which I'm starting right now. I've read interesting things about it, and I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into.

The Jewels of Aptor Review

I had been told for a few months to check out the work of Samuel Delany, but I hadn't gotten around to it; I had read an interview with him, and I had seen a documentary clip, but I still had not actually read any of his fiction. Now, I can officially say that I've read his work, and that I am a fan.

I bought The Jewels of Aptor for my Kindle, because it was the only book of his that was in my measly price range. It looked interesting, I loved the cover, and I dove right in. From the beginning of the book, my attention was held. I loved the names of the characters, and the journey they were to go on.

I'm not really one to read science fiction, but this definitely has me more interested in the  genre. The basic plot of the story is that our three, later four, protagonists (for the story is really about all of them) on a mission to retrieve the last of a trio of very powerful jewels from an evil island in a dystopian future. I'm not going to pretend that I'm good at figuring out meaning in stories, but one could argue that the entire story is an allegory for the gray area that is good and evil, religion and power. Even I, who can't find the theme of a story, found themes in this one, well worked themes that made even my hardened brows raise.

Unlike most of the books I read, there was no real reason to have to look words up. I think someone with an advanced middle school education could read this without issues. The words that I didn't know were words that the author had created for the story. There were some scientific things that I didn't understand, but the protagonists didn't understand either, so I didn't feel bad. The thing I find craziest about the book is that it is Samuel Delany's first published story.

He wrote this amazing book when he was twenty. 20. I definitely need to up my game.

This is a book that I would recommend to someone who might not usually pick up a science fiction story. It's not something that spends billions of words on the science, it's only used when it serves the plot. One of the things I really enjoyed about the book, is that it didn't leave a bunch of open questions at the end, it wove in all of the plot lines, but ended in a way that makes me wonder what happened when the pages stopped, because the world was that interesting.

At $2.99, this book is an absolute steal, and I definitely think more people should read it.

The Wind in the Willows Review

Recently, I read the book, The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame. I had read it when I was much younger, and watched the 1980s animated version. Since encountering it again, I remember why I enjoyed it.

I guess this is considered a classic in children’s literature because the target audience is a younger one, or rather, was a younger one. The characters are named after their breed: Mr. Mole, Mr. Rat, Mr. Otter, Mr. Badger, etc. which makes it very easy to keep up with the characters. You really don’t get them confused, even if they had non-breed names, because they’re so distinctly them. However, because the book was written so long ago, and it’s a British book (I’m American), there are phrases and words that are now archaic. I enjoy the archaic words, they add to the charm.

Considering this is a book geared towards a younger audience, there’s quite a bit of violence, and smoking, which is considered rather taboo subjects for the youth of today. I like all the violence and different things, it was surprising, and held my attention. The book is a combination of different stories of the different creatures, although the antics of Mr. Toad do take up the most time.

The version of the book that I downloaded from Amazon was unabridged, so there is an interesting chapter that apparently is omitted from newer versions, including the chapter that inspired the original cover of the first edition (which freaked me out at first).

Even though I’m technically not a child anymore, I think I can get enjoyment of the story for years to come.

As for the digital version, it was a lovely copy. Almost all the archaic words/spellings had definitions that were easily understood. I think this would be the kind of book you would read for a week or more as a bedtime story. I will certainly read this to any kids I might pop out.